Noting all the recent, deadly-serious cheesebikini entries, some casual observers might imagine that I’ve grown up. They should stop making unreasonable assumptions.
Consider Exhibit A, highlights of a sophisticated e-mail debate that I undertook last week with my friend Dave Danzig:
S: you put the ‘cyst’ in sister
D: I put the cyst in YOUR sister.
S: you put the penis in penicillin
D: You put the vag in vagrant.
S: what’s vag?
(can you be more specific?)
D: I meant it to be short for vagina. I was in a hurry.
How about this:
You put the nude in noodle?
S: but there is no “vagina” in “vagrant.”
you put the “vague” in “vagrant”
you put the ‘punk’ in ‘punctual’
D: You put the S.T.D. in custody.
S: you put the STD in bastard.
D: Yeah, but you don’t pronouce it “S.T.D.”, like you do with “custody”.
Though, the S is a but of a stretch, I admit.
You put the “ass” in “no class”.
S: you put the “oy” in “annoy”
D: You put the “sex” in “sextant”.
S: you put the “acid” in “flaccid”
D: You put the “pet her ass” in pederasty.
S: you put the “pet-hair ass” in pederasty.
you put the ‘petty’ in ‘pederasty’
D: you put the “funk” in “functionality.”
I rest my case.