The War on CapsLock

June 17th, 2003

In no way do I condone or encourage the development of pernicious new club drugs.

But assuming that humans will keep inventing new ways to poison themselves, it might be funny to give the next big drug the street name “CapsLock.”

As in: “Can you believe those five kids in Microsoft Butterfly suits shattered all the windows in St. Patrick’s Cathedral and then swallowed half of the stained glass shards before the cops and paramedics arrived? They must have been amped up on CapsLock.”

6 Responses to “The War on CapsLock”

  1. comment number 1 by: Jason Shellen

    Plus people could start saying ‘Let’s get our CapsLock on!’. I imagine a more pure and nasty derivative called ‘NumLock’.

  2. comment number 2 by: Brandon

    Don’t forget about ScrollLock- wait? What is ScrollLock you ask? ::shrugs:: That’s right, everyone will have access to it but no one will know what the effects of being on ScrollLock…

  3. comment number 3 by: peter

    What, have we already run out of alphanumeric keys for drugs? E, x, h, o, a, b, q, p, k, m, & c are used, not to mention the multiple letter combinations. But afaik r, l, and even the exotic-sounding z are still available. And how about “space”, “question mark”, “exclamation point”, “minus”, “plus”, “equals”, “slash”, and even better, “backslash”? Then there are all the available geek names for punctuation: bang, twiddle, splat, tick, dot (taken?)…. (of course “hash” needn’t be mentioned.) Perhaps we need a registrar for these things.

  4. comment number 4 by:

    Keep your pants on.

  5. comment number 5 by: NiorahKatra

    Now I have a new place to visit whenever I need a good laugh. Or, whenever I get too down. (Who in their wrong or right mind doesn’t NEED a good laugh – ALL the time?!)

    I followed links from on flash crowds in NYC, noticed “The War on CapsLock” & said (to myself? out loud…), “This can’t be unamusing.”

    A few minutes of uninterrupted laughing later & I am able to type once again. (Not to worry, it will pass.)

    Just want to say:

    Must be laugh deprivation. Of course, I am also suffering from AltKey withdrawals. 🙂

  6. comment number 6 by: PsySal

    Will you yell really loudly while you’re on it?