Strange Advice

July 12th, 2005

I dreamt that I was sneaking through Bill Gates’ house with a friend.

We hadn’t been invited, but we hadn’t broken in and we hadn’t planned this adventure. (Looking back, I’m not sure how that could be. Perhaps we found a door that had been left open?)

As we slinked around this dark expensive house, Bill strode in and flicked on the lights. He didn’t seem surprised to see us. He offered us each a drink and showed us around the place a bit.

He said a few small-talk things. He glanced at me, offered me an opening to speak. I froze and couldn’t say anything. That’s what always happens when I’m face to face with a celebrity or a legend: I freeze up. Later I always kick myself because I didn’t say things that I should have.

As I pondered this Bill said:

“If you freeze up in front of a famous person
and you know that later you’ll remember 100 things
that you should have said,
you should say:

‘I freeze up in front of famous people.
Later I’ll think of 100 things that I should say now.

But I can’t say them now.’

That will break the roadblock.”

At “roadblock” I awakened with hot sunlight in my face.

I closed the blinds. I tried to go back to sleep and speak to Bill Gates but I couldn’t.

I’m not Bill’s biggest fan, but I’ll try those words next time I meet Jeff Bezos or Satan or Jesus.

One Response to “Strange Advice”

  1. comment number 1 by: jeremy bates

    at least you didn’t piss him off by saying something about your powerbook…then he might have released his robotic hounds…

    i’m gonna name my son gil, gil bates.

    hope you’re well man.